Wednesday, August 27, 2008

A little bit about why I'm here..

I'm not sure exactly why I'm making this. I've recently become addicted to food blogs and , well, I've been addicted to food for a while now, so why not make a blog of my own? I have had a messed up relationship with food & eating for a long time now. I've struggled with not eating, unhealthy other habits, and extreme binge eating.

Last year was my freshman year of college. I went there on a mission--a mission that I didn't really believe I would complete: lose weight, feel good about myself. I began working out for the first time in my life--I also cut out a lot of the junk I'd been eating. That whole year was a learning process for me as far as knowing what's healthy and what's not and pursuing a healthy lifestyle. It became easy when I got caught up in my routine--but, as much as a routine can often help, it can also make one feel trapped in an endless cycle--wondering when exactly you're going to be able to stop. I now know that it's better (yet very difficult at times) to keep things interesting. Routine is safe, but sometimes suffocating.

Anyway, through a change to healthier eating habits and exercise, I lost around 44 pounds that school year instead of gaining the dreaded 'freshman 15'. That brought me to the much-anticipated healthy weight and BMI! I am a short height of 5'2 and even the slightest weight gain is extremely noticeable.

For the past month and a half, I have slipped (or rather, willingly dove into) my extreme binge habits. It has resulted in a big weight gain in a short period of time: nearly 20 pounds!!! It is discouraging and I want to develop a relationship with food that is healthy and normal...but one where I can still love it the way that I do. Despite my eating habits within the past 7 years, food has always , always, ALWAYS been my obsession.

My goal here? To make something good of that obsession. To learn to eat for the right learn MODERATION....and overall, my goal is to learn to live instead of constantly worrying about what I'll eat next.

I'm not sure what I'll do with this blog...we'll see. I just feel good about making it.

That's all for now.

1 comment:

IMPerfect Pearl said...

Hey amanda, I'm just reading your blog and I admire your determination to loose weight. Good luck to you and keep your focus. You can do it!